The Secrets of Dating Revealed!

I live in The Land of Singles. That means I’m not married. Some people in The Land of Singles are dating or even engaged, but until you wear that band of gold on your finger, you are a citizen of The Land of Singles (TLS). In TLS there are many, many theories on dating. Should you date? Or court? Or practice friendship? When can you have the DTR talk (Define the Relationship)? How can you tell if someone is interested and not just friendly?

Many hours have been spent trying to pin down the correct way to go about finding a travel buddy to The Land of Marriage, but no clear map has been made. Until now.

I was perusing the November 2008 edition of Real Simple when I stumbled upon a treasure map of epic proportions. With just one full-page ad, all our questions have been answered. And we have New York Life to thank for it.

Below you’ll find a simple map that will bring you out of The Land of Singles and into The Land of Marriage. In a few simple steps, you’ll have that band on your finger and a date for your office holiday party.[Click to make the image larger]

As you can see, it’s really quite simple and begins with an ice cream cone. This cone can be substituted for something else your partner of choice likes—you know, in case she’s lactose intolerant. Maybe a bag of her favorite snack food, like Pizzeria Pretzel Combos. Or her favorite drink from Caribou Coffee.

The good news is that this map is easily customizable. If the girl you have in mind prefers daisies, then go for it—give her daisies instead of roses. Or if she doesn’t like heart-shaped pendants, go for a nice pair of earrings. The key is that each step shows more commitment (oh no! The ‘c’ word!) than the one before. It’s a grander gesture that signals to her that you want to be more than just the purveyor of delicious frozen dairy treats. You want to be the recipient of her life insurance (okay—something more romantic—the recipient of her heart for all time. Awwwww).

Armed with this map, I believe even the guy most inept or insecure about talking to girls will be able to find his travel buddy. All it takes is a gesture that proves his intentions. And maybe it doesn’t work on the first try (or second or third), but when the right buddy comes along, she’ll walk alongside him and follow the treasure map at just the right time.