December 22, 2008

If I Were President...

- I'd make it a law that everyone must have at least two hobbies. One can have expensive paraphernalia but at least one must be inexpensive. Then it would be no problem finding gifts for everyone.
- I'd make all schools year-round (sorry Meredith). It just makes sense to me.
- Just like every child must take math and science, I'd make it a law that every child take art and music.
- People would have to take a simple intelligence test before they are allowed to drive. Such questions as what follows would be on the test:
- When is it logical to turn on your headlights?
a. When it is dark outside
b. When it is foggy outside
c. When it is raining, drizzling, snowing, sleeting, hailing or any other time precipitation is falling from the sky, therefore obstructing the sun and making it harder for other drivers to see your vehicle
d. At dusk and dawn
e. All of the above
- When should you begin slowing down to make a turn?
a. When you're in the turn lane
b. When your 200 yards from the turn and there's 4,000 cars behind you trying to go home after a long day at work
c. Whenever you feel like it
- For every “guy movie” a female watches without complaint, the guy must watch a “chick flick” without complaint.
- The number of baseball and basketball games in a single season would be cut by 50 percent. Is it really necessary to play 162 baseball games to find out which team is the best? Do we need to see the Utah Jazz play 82 times, only to be reminded 82 times how ridiculous that team name is? And don't even get me started on the OKC Thunder logo or the number of games in the playoffs.
- Schools would be funded so well that the military would be sending out soldiers to sell candy and doughnuts (this is, of course, said somewhat sarcastically. I'd prefer both the army and schools be well funded. Not just one or the other).
- Overcharging the public for uncreative music in which the “musician” or “singer” had absolutely no input in the process other than lip syncing into a microphone would be a crime with a penalty that includes being forced to listen to the Bee Gees nonstop for three months.

What law would you add to the books?

December 19, 2008

Advice on How to Blog

From Slate magazine:

How to Blog
by Farhad Manjoo

So apparently if I want to be a famous blogger, I should post more than just once every three weeks...

December 12, 2008

Where Have all the Acorns Gone?

From CNN:
Scientists baffled by mysterious acorn shortage


In far-flung pockets of northern Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, West Virginia and other states, scientists have found no acorns whatsoever.

"I had read about the collapse of the bee colonies, and it made me wonder, is something else going on here? Could this be affecting other systems?"

I bet I know where the acorns went:

December 3, 2008

Britney Spears World Tour

Britney Spears has announced her first world tour in five years. For the low price of $350 (general admission), you can go see her gyrate and crow her songs or whatever it is she does. Or you could do one of the following:

-Sponsor an impoverished child with AIDS or HIV for 10 months.
-Save the lives of 350 Africans. One dollar (combined with other donations) builds a well and provides enough water for one African for the rest of their life.
-Buy three and a half acres of a rainforest.
-Buy enough fair trade coffee to last you a month (give or take) and help coffee growers earn fair pricing for their trade.
-Send 18 care packages to soldiers during the holidays.
-Give 11 families that have been through a natural disaster, food and clean water for two weeks.
-Buy 70 LifeStraws. LifeStraw is a point-of-use water purifier that lasts up to one year and removes 99% of waterborne bacteria and viruses.

Those are just a few of the ways you can spend $350. There are numerous other places where you can make one-time donations of any amount. I understand that all of the $350 doesn't go to Britney Spears, and there are a lot of people to pay on a concert tour (everyone from her hairdresser to the guy making sure the lights work). But $350? Diarrhea alone is responsible for the deaths of 1.8 million people each year, 90% of whom are children under 5, and 88% of diarrhea is caused by unclean water and inadequate sanitation (World Health Organization via Blood:Water Mission).
I think maybe enabling these people to have clean water, or ensuring we don't destroy the earth or ensuring that we don't promote sweatshops is a better way to spend our money. Just a thought.