May 6, 2009

Lying Ads

You know when you visit a website and they feature ads based on other websites you've visited? For example, if you visit a lot of websites about perfect pickle recipes, you'll see a lot of ads about pickles or Mt. Olive or great episodes of The Andy Griffith Show. They use their interwebbiness power to figure out who they think you are and what you need, and then based ads on that. So what is MSNBC trying to tell me by putting up these ads?

You know what MSNBC? There's only so much a girl can do! Quit holding the whole "not married" or "not a mom" or "doesn't have perfect teeth" thing over my head. Also, why is the internet so obsessed with yellow teeth and Rachel Ray's amazing diet? It's like the new cranberry*--get your teeth whitened or you'll be doomed to a life of sorrow and gnashing of [yellow] teeth.

*Whoever markets cranberries is a genius--they're in 95 percent of the fruit juices I see.

1 comment:

Paul said...

Insert Brian Regan's "Cran-man" bit:

"I don't know what in the hell's going on with cranberries, but they're getting in all the other juices. Whoever the salesman is for cranberries is doing a great job. He’s showing up everywhere. Hey, what do you got, some apples? Put some cranberries in there. We’ll call it cran-apple and go 50-50. What do you got grapes? How about cran-grape! What do you got mangos? Cran-mango! What do you got pork chops? Cran-chops! Why don't you back off, cranberry man. Why don't you take your sales trophy and have a vacation."