If I Were President...

- I'd make it a law that everyone must have at least two hobbies. One can have expensive paraphernalia but at least one must be inexpensive. Then it would be no problem finding gifts for everyone.
- I'd make all schools year-round (sorry Meredith). It just makes sense to me.
- Just like every child must take math and science, I'd make it a law that every child take art and music.
- People would have to take a simple intelligence test before they are allowed to drive. Such questions as what follows would be on the test:
- When is it logical to turn on your headlights?
a. When it is dark outside
b. When it is foggy outside
c. When it is raining, drizzling, snowing, sleeting, hailing or any other time precipitation is falling from the sky, therefore obstructing the sun and making it harder for other drivers to see your vehicle
d. At dusk and dawn
e. All of the above
- When should you begin slowing down to make a turn?
a. When you're in the turn lane
b. When your 200 yards from the turn and there's 4,000 cars behind you trying to go home after a long day at work
c. Whenever you feel like it
- For every “guy movie” a female watches without complaint, the guy must watch a “chick flick” without complaint.
- The number of baseball and basketball games in a single season would be cut by 50 percent. Is it really necessary to play 162 baseball games to find out which team is the best? Do we need to see the Utah Jazz play 82 times, only to be reminded 82 times how ridiculous that team name is? And don't even get me started on the OKC Thunder logo or the number of games in the playoffs.
- Schools would be funded so well that the military would be sending out soldiers to sell candy and doughnuts (this is, of course, said somewhat sarcastically. I'd prefer both the army and schools be well funded. Not just one or the other).
- Overcharging the public for uncreative music in which the “musician” or “singer” had absolutely no input in the process other than lip syncing into a microphone would be a crime with a penalty that includes being forced to listen to the Bee Gees nonstop for three months.

What law would you add to the books?

Advice on How to Blog

From Slate magazine:

How to Blog
by Farhad Manjoo

So apparently if I want to be a famous blogger, I should post more than just once every three weeks...

Where Have all the Acorns Gone?

From CNN:
Scientists baffled by mysterious acorn shortage

[Excerpts]

In far-flung pockets of northern Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, West Virginia and other states, scientists have found no acorns whatsoever.

"I had read about the collapse of the bee colonies, and it made me wonder, is something else going on here? Could this be affecting other systems?"

I bet I know where the acorns went:

Britney Spears World Tour

Britney Spears has announced her first world tour in five years. For the low price of $350 (general admission), you can go see her gyrate and crow her songs or whatever it is she does. Or you could do one of the following:

-Sponsor an impoverished child with AIDS or HIV for 10 months.
-Save the lives of 350 Africans. One dollar (combined with other donations) builds a well and provides enough water for one African for the rest of their life.
-Buy three and a half acres of a rainforest.
-Buy enough fair trade coffee to last you a month (give or take) and help coffee growers earn fair pricing for their trade.
-Send 18 care packages to soldiers during the holidays.
-Give 11 families that have been through a natural disaster, food and clean water for two weeks.
-Buy 70 LifeStraws. LifeStraw is a point-of-use water purifier that lasts up to one year and removes 99% of waterborne bacteria and viruses.

Those are just a few of the ways you can spend $350. There are numerous other places where you can make one-time donations of any amount. I understand that all of the $350 doesn't go to Britney Spears, and there are a lot of people to pay on a concert tour (everyone from her hairdresser to the guy making sure the lights work). But $350? Diarrhea alone is responsible for the deaths of 1.8 million people each year, 90% of whom are children under 5, and 88% of diarrhea is caused by unclean water and inadequate sanitation (World Health Organization via Blood:Water Mission). I think maybe enabling these people to have clean water, or ensuring we don't destroy the earth or ensuring that we don't promote sweatshops is a better way to spend our money. Just a thought.

Things To Do

I like blogs that have a sole purpose or theme, so I decided to start my own. In addition to this blog, I just started "This Life's 'To Do' List." I'll be posting things I think we all (including myself) should do before we die. The first entry was 'Complete a painting you would hang in your own home.'

Check out the new blog here.

The Pure Lack of Creativity Makes My Brain Hurt

Are you kidding me? Because the High School Musical movies aren't squeaky clean enough? I just--I just can't even put into words how ridiculous this is. Are Christians really that incapable of coming up with one original idea? Are we destined to constantly look to the created for inspiration rather than the Creator? Are we determined to live in a complete bubble so we never have to venture into the secular world? We'll just keep making "Christian" substitutes for everything so our bubble never bursts. Oy. Vey.

The Secrets of Dating Revealed!

I live in The Land of Singles. That means I’m not married. Some people in The Land of Singles are dating or even engaged, but until you wear that band of gold on your finger, you are a citizen of The Land of Singles (TLS). In TLS there are many, many theories on dating. Should you date? Or court? Or practice friendship? When can you have the DTR talk (Define the Relationship)? How can you tell if someone is interested and not just friendly?

Many hours have been spent trying to pin down the correct way to go about finding a travel buddy to The Land of Marriage, but no clear map has been made. Until now.

I was perusing the November 2008 edition of Real Simple when I stumbled upon a treasure map of epic proportions. With just one full-page ad, all our questions have been answered. And we have New York Life to thank for it.

Below you’ll find a simple map that will bring you out of The Land of Singles and into The Land of Marriage. In a few simple steps, you’ll have that band on your finger and a date for your office holiday party.[Click to make the image larger]

As you can see, it’s really quite simple and begins with an ice cream cone. This cone can be substituted for something else your partner of choice likes—you know, in case she’s lactose intolerant. Maybe a bag of her favorite snack food, like Pizzeria Pretzel Combos. Or her favorite drink from Caribou Coffee.

The good news is that this map is easily customizable. If the girl you have in mind prefers daisies, then go for it—give her daisies instead of roses. Or if she doesn’t like heart-shaped pendants, go for a nice pair of earrings. The key is that each step shows more commitment (oh no! The ‘c’ word!) than the one before. It’s a grander gesture that signals to her that you want to be more than just the purveyor of delicious frozen dairy treats. You want to be the recipient of her life insurance (okay—something more romantic—the recipient of her heart for all time. Awwwww).

Armed with this map, I believe even the guy most inept or insecure about talking to girls will be able to find his travel buddy. All it takes is a gesture that proves his intentions. And maybe it doesn’t work on the first try (or second or third), but when the right buddy comes along, she’ll walk alongside him and follow the treasure map at just the right time.