November 29, 2008

Things To Do

I like blogs that have a sole purpose or theme, so I decided to start my own. In addition to this blog, I just started "This Life's 'To Do' List." I'll be posting things I think we all (including myself) should do before we die. The first entry was 'Complete a painting you would hang in your own home.'

Check out the new blog here.

November 13, 2008

The Pure Lack of Creativity Makes My Brain Hurt

Are you kidding me? Because the High School Musical movies aren't squeaky clean enough? I just--I just can't even put into words how ridiculous this is. Are Christians really that incapable of coming up with one original idea? Are we destined to constantly look to the created for inspiration rather than the Creator? Are we determined to live in a complete bubble so we never have to venture into the secular world? We'll just keep making "Christian" substitutes for everything so our bubble never bursts. Oy. Vey.

November 4, 2008

The Secrets of Dating Revealed!

I live in The Land of Singles. That means I’m not married. Some people in The Land of Singles are dating or even engaged, but until you wear that band of gold on your finger, you are a citizen of The Land of Singles (TLS). In TLS there are many, many theories on dating. Should you date? Or court? Or practice friendship? When can you have the DTR talk (Define the Relationship)? How can you tell if someone is interested and not just friendly?

Many hours have been spent trying to pin down the correct way to go about finding a travel buddy to The Land of Marriage, but no clear map has been made. Until now.

I was perusing the November 2008 edition of Real Simple when I stumbled upon a treasure map of epic proportions. With just one full-page ad, all our questions have been answered. And we have New York Life to thank for it.

Below you’ll find a simple map that will bring you out of The Land of Singles and into The Land of Marriage. In a few simple steps, you’ll have that band on your finger and a date for your office holiday party.
[Click to make the image larger]

As you can see, it’s really quite simple and begins with an ice cream cone. This cone can be substituted for something else your partner of choice likes—you know, in case she’s lactose intolerant. Maybe a bag of her favorite snack food, like Pizzeria Pretzel Combos. Or her favorite drink from Caribou Coffee.


The good news is that this map is easily customizable. If the girl you have in mind prefers daisies, then go for it—give her daisies instead of roses. Or if she doesn’t like heart-shaped pendants, go for a nice pair of earrings. The key is that each step shows more commitment (oh no! The ‘c’ word!) than the one before. It’s a grander gesture that signals to her that you want to be more than just the purveyor of delicious frozen dairy treats. You want to be the recipient of her life insurance (okay—something more romantic—the recipient of her heart for all time. Awwwww).

Armed with this map, I believe even the guy most inept or insecure about talking to girls will be able to find his travel buddy. All it takes is a gesture that proves his intentions. And maybe it doesn’t work on the first try (or second or third), but when the right buddy comes along, she’ll walk alongside him and follow the treasure map at just the right time.

October 13, 2008

The Chopstick Issue

I could write about a lot of things that are meaningful and pressing. Perhaps I could examine the state of the US economy or the upcoming election. But I won’t. Instead I’ll discuss something that has weighed on my mind as of late and must be said before the vein in my head explodes.*

I live in the United States of America. One of the perks of living in this country is that you can find any kind of restaurant you want: Italian, German, Irish, Chinese—take your pick. Among my favorites are Chinese and Japanese restaurants. Yet every time I’m in one I am confronted with the same question:

Why are they using chopsticks?

By “they” I mean the other patrons. Why are half of them using chopsticks when forks are readily available? Do they not realize they are in the US? Do they think the forks are there for decoration? Or do they think everyone else is impressed with their skill? Because we’re not.

Listen, if you’re trying to get the full “Asian” experience, then you’re going to have to eat somewhere else. Because I hate to break it to you, but that General Tso’s chicken you’re eating at the Happy Panda is not real Chinese food.

I’d like to take a poll to find out what chopstick users have in common with other chopstick users. I’m willing to bet that a lot of them only use Macs**, have a love/hate relationship with Starbucks and subscribe to (but don’t read) The New Yorker. They might also drive Volkswagons.

Then again, maybe there are two types of chopstick users—the yuppies (the Mac users) and the posers. The posers are hoping you’ll comment about their chopstick use so they have an excuse to tell you about their trip to China (or Chinatown).

Maybe I’ll start talking in an Italian accent whenever I go to an Italian restaurant or insist on drinking my chosen beverage from a steinkrug if I go to a German restaurant. That wouldn’t be ridiculous at all.

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*I don’t actually have a vein like that. I had a seventh grade English teacher who did, though.
**If I had an extra $1,000 lying around, I’d go buy a MacBook right now. I want one like the desert misses the rain. So using only a Mac isn’t a bad thing—but only using chopsticks in an Asian-American restaurant is.

September 30, 2008

Joe Sorren: Painting in Progress

Sometime during college my friend introduced me to Joe Sorren. I've been fascinated by Sorren's art ever since and check his website infrequently to see his new work (and drool over it, wishing I had the talent and patience to paint like him). This evening I stopped by his blog and found that he has a 'Painting in Progress' series for his painting 'The Overture.'

I've never had the privilege of seeing one of Sorren's pieces in person, but even from the online photos you can tell that each of his paintings is incredibly detailed and multi-layered. This series proves that theory and gives a glimpse into Sorren's process. Absolutely fascinating.

Painting in Progress

September 29, 2008

Our Naked Neighbor

The roomie and I are walking toward our cul de sac after a leisurely stroll around the neighborhood. The sun is setting and the temperature is just right. We met a few new dogs (and their owners) during our walk and we've been discussing the perfect size for a dog.

While we were out we saw our apartment manager, who lives in the same cul de sac with her husband and three sons.
As we draw closer to our home we notice her three-year-old son running out of their house. No one is running behind him or after him.

"Whaaaat?" I ask.

"Is he?" she asks.

"Oh my stars..."

"Oh my goodness..."

He's naked. Butt naked. And running down the street.

He gets closer and announces his intentions.

"I'm looking for my mom and brother..."

He keeps running and we suggest that he wait for her, but he'll have none of it. So we watch him as he runs past us to his mom, about 30 yards behind us, in all his naked glory.

Children are a blessing from God.

The end.

September 16, 2008

Conference Time

I'm headed to Oklahoma City for MinistryCom--a conference for people who work in church communications. The last time I went to a conference was my junior year in college when I attended one in New York City for journalism students. I'm sure the sites in OKC will be just as glamorous as those in NYC.

I'll be keeping my eye out for blog entry ideas. Not just at the conference, of course (although getting that many ministry workers in one place has to be a breeding ground for such things), but also at the airport and out and about Oklahoma City.

I'm not going to lie, though. At first we (my coworkers and I) weren't sure we wanted to attend. But then we saw that Jon Acuff, writer of Stuff Christians Like, is one of the keynote speakers and we signed up immediately. I already have several requests to bring back Skittles.

Stay tuned!